Thursday, March 27, 2014

Results are in...

Lets have a moment of silence for 4 year old Mia Derouen, killed by a “XXL” pitbull housed at her home. Dogsbite at Decateur AL has the details.

Noteworthy – Police had to shoot the 4 legged perp THIRTEEN TIMES to stop its rampage. A single mauling, bloodthirsty rampaging beast!

There is no modicum of safety with these monsters among us. Our legal system, including law enforcement, is NOT equipped to deal with this emerging disaster. Our pedestrian self defense laws cannot protect us. The 2nd amendment provides very thin protection. Your typical CC weapon can't stop one of these super maulers!

And that is what they are... Extra, Extra Large Super Maulers!  We are living in the first couple of chapters of some cheezy sci-fi horror novel.

Anyways, back to the topic at hand.

Winner by a BIG margin →

Just think... this could be you!

All that is left to ask... who brings the BBQ sauce and honey baked beans??

I was a little disappointed that TANK came in last. However, understandable given current high fuel prices.

Honorable mention -

M134 Minigun. At 3000 rounds per minute, this awesome device will drop that super mauler in 0.26 seconds!  And, speaking of Science Fiction....

Think out of the box, people!


  1. I was tempted to write in "rail gun", but I thought "eh, a tank can take out a pit bull surely and I saw a video once where a drunk guy drove a tank so it can't be THAT hard". I thought I would just, you know, run over the maulers. I am not sure a tank ANY tank could reliably kill the super sized maulers.

    FFS! I have a freaking .22! I might as well deliver loving kisses to this hell-beast's snout for all the good that would do me!

  2. I make a fine BBQ sauce. Dr. Pepper is my secret ingredient. The sauce goes with anything. Who is bringing the beans?


    Mia and the monster. RIP, sweet Mia.

  4. It's important to be quick with the flame thrower or else the mauler will relieve you of a limb! The WWII vet was quick. The other guy dawdled too much, maybe looking for the nutter who let the mauler SOMEHOW get loose. The mauler's teeth are way more lethal than the nutter's.

  5. This is what those nutters want, they want dogs no one can kill. They WANT to terrorize and push these beasts on us. They are proud of their killers.

  6. RSM, I think you are right. People who do dog fighting used medium sized dogs for years and years. But, some humans can fight that size dog. These XL and XXL ones? You'd HAVE to have a weapon. But, not everyone strolls around their own backyard with their various weapons because, duh, it's your own backyard. However, maulers are notoriously lax about observing property lines.

    1. I'm come to wonder about pit owners. But there's no doubt in my mind people who own gladiator pits are sick in the head. You'd have to be an incredible superhero to be able to fight one off without a major weapon.The owners know this, and revel in their invincibility while simultaneously gushing over how sweet their dog is. The (comparatively) good thing is that a lot of people settle for having average size pits.

      There might come a day where I leave the house with not an iPod, but a golf club and my bear spray. The fact that I have to be so scared of a dog is ridiculous...

  7. As wrong as I feel making light of such a serious situation, I'm happy my choice of flamethrower came in first. It really is like a cheesy sci-fi horror novel out there....and you're the crazy one when you say you don't trust all those pit bulls at the pound!

  8. "I was a little disappointed that TANK came in last. However, understandable given current high fuel prices."

    your wits, I LOVE 'EM! :D

  9. check this out, LOL