Sunday, March 9, 2014

Trainwreck Ed. Vol 1.0

At times you realize a situation that is such a major, epic, FAIL that the only allegory that can describe it accurately is Train Wreck. 


There is a true Animal Uncontrol Train Wreck unfolding in Maricopia County, AZ. This is a disaster so epic in scale, it left me speechless for a while (and getting me to shut up is an epic accomplishment in itself). Interesting to note that many Train Wrecks are often caused by a few minor mistakes / problems that ultimately lead to an epic disaster.

Another aspect of the Trainwreck is that so many people lie about the details (usually to protect themselves), that it is difficult if not impossible to determine what actually happened.

Here is what I think happened, and feel free to eludicate me on any details I may have wrong or may have missed.

February 24th, 2014 4 year old Kevin Vincente was attacked by a pit bull type dog ("Mickey") in Phoenix AZ. The dog caused massive injuries to Kevin's face, resulting in severe blood loss and requiring extensive plastic surgery to his face. Kevin likely faces years of reconstructive surgeries to his face.

Apparently, Kevin was under the auspices of a babysitter at the time. The babysitter took Kevin and her 5 year old to her boyfriend's house for a visit. Kevin had been a guest on this property in the past, and was no stranger the the boyfriend or the dog. The boyfriend was Mickey's owner at the time of the incident.

It appears that the children were playing near "Mickey" when the dog lunged and bit Kevin on the face. Mickey proceeded to perform a "shake and hold" maneuver on Kevin for an unspecified period of time. Long enough to do a lot of damage to Kevin's face, in any case. The babysitter then drove Kevin to an emergent care facility and he was then ambulanced from there to the hospital.

The boyfriend (Sorry, I can't seem to determine this individual's name) surrendered Mickey to Maricopia County Animal Control after the incident. This person has not been charged with any crimes at this time that I know of.

For more details on this incident, consider the related Dogs Bite Decateur AL article.

First, I invite any Facebook users to visit the For the love of Kevin Facebook page. Please give it a "Like" at least... I'm sure Kevin and his family could use the support. The page has info on how to donate funds and the like.

Now, none of the above is all that unusual. Something like this happens daily. Where this gets interesting and I mean that in a strictly morbidly fascinating kind of way, is viewing the public response to the incident.

Note that the For the love of Kevin Facebook page has about 360 "likes" as I write this. Unfortunately, the Save Mickey Facebook page has 35,200 "likes as I write this!! Apparently, an extremist Animal Rights advocacy group, the Lexus Project, has taken up Mickey's cause, pulling out all the stops to not only prevent Mickey's euthanization, but to get him re-homed!

I'm not liking these odds: The Mickey supporters outnumber the Kevin supporters nearly 100 to 1. Those are not winning odds, people.

Indeed, Mickey is now represented by the Schill Law Group, who has filed for and received a legal restraining order against Maricopia County Animal control, preventing them from euthanizing Mickey until ALL of the legal proceedings have been exhausted.  Note the TRO is only temporary, I am sure Schill will file even more sophisticated motions in the future.

For my remarks on how A.R. Extremists lie, cheat, abuse the legal system and social media to achieve their goals, consider my remarks on the subject from 2012.  That playbook indicated is being followed to the letter.

In any case, Lexus, Schill, and a horde of rank and file supporters are pulling out ALL the stops to "Save Mickey". They may, indeed, succeed. Think about that for a minute, a known human mauler coming to a neighborhood near you! Thanks Lexus Project!!

More to come... this fiasco has barely started...




Saturday, March 1, 2014

A Pit Bull, I am

I'd like to thank Dawn and the folks at Craven Desires for being my "muse" on this article and many of my previous... you guys do great work!  I certainly can't take all the credit.  Special thanks Snack, Meals, Dude and the rest.

Below is best read out loud...

A Pit Bull, I am

Some say my writing, too grotesque and gory,
So, stop reading if you don't want a pit bull story!
Don't be pissed, you are not disrespected,
The rest of this is from a Pit Bull's perspective!

My life has purpose, there is no disorder,
Can I get toy poodle as a take out order?
Some people say my type are nasty creatures,
Look, my behaviors are not bugs but features!

I'm a Nanny Dog, many of them say,
Very true, until I have a bad day!
Bit no one so far today, so don't be a hater,
I have yet to eat the kids: I'm saving them for later!

I bark, bark, bark and bark some more,
The neighbors, I let them sleep nevermore!
I'm a hundred twenty pounds of pure-bred attitude,
I let YOU live, so show some gratitude!

Stuck indoors, such endless tedium
Only a screen door between me and freedom!
Out on the street, time to get rowdy,
I'll start by eating the bumper off that Audi!

When I get caught, I always get to slide,
For I have AC and the government on MY side!
See, I have no fear of Law Enforcement,
The US President gave me a personal endorsement!

Sorry, you all seem so disappointed,
That a hack for the Pit Bull lobby was anointed!
So, expect no action from the AC director,
When I turn you into another bloody spectre!

I look down the block, a window open a crack,
Sounds like time to plan a home invasion attack!
I'm nothing but muscle, a lot of brawn,
I'll eat your kitty cat and shit on your lawn!

Jaw like a bulldozer, head like a block,
Skull so thick it can stop a .45 from a Glock!
Put down your pistol, no bullets expended,
Around me, your defense rights suspended!

I have a chest like a barrel, big as a beer keg,
So, pardon me while I chew off that leg!
Quit being so angry, so very bitter,
Hose off the sidewalk and pump out another litter!

My last mauling victim, what a mess,
I have a mouth like a hydraulic press!
I stop chasing cars for a minute, look about,
I think I'll have that dachshund with sauerkraut!

Pit bull haters, getting all angry and feeling blue,
Hey, I'm just doing what I was bred to do!
BSL folks, as usual a total bore,
I'll attack them coming out of the grocery store!

Neighborhood pets, a very tasty buffet,
Can I get fries with that Shar-Pei?
I'm a gourmet, won't eat dogfood from a can,
Why bother, when I can lunch on Mail Man!

The kid next door, a yummy feast,
Don't look at me, no one died, at least!
The parents so angry they could spit,
Hey, he must have done something to deserve it!

I run up and down the block with glee,
Knowing that everything belongs to me!
My last biting victim, what a moaner,
Look pal, its not the dog, its the owner!

Yo! No more sitting outside to drink a beer,
I have the entire neighborhood living in fear!
Look, I'm not responsible, I'm no felon,
I'm just looking to crush your head like a melon!

I love to chase and bite sheep at the farm,
By the way, good luck re-attaching that arm!
I'm just a poor product of puppy mill greed,
As always, blame the deed and not the breed!

Ban me? That will be the day,
No one can ID me, anyway!
Spare me the nasty words on your blog,
Remember, I'm just like any other dog!

Look, I am tired of the badmouthing and the rest,
I'll be at the mall in my new service dog vest!
All those mean words from you, so very feeble,
I'm protected because DOGS IS PEOPLE!