Thursday, March 20, 2014

Neighborhood Pit Bull (no) Problem!

Problems with pit bulls in your neighborhood? The usual ho-hum weapons letting you down?

Welcome to the first Animal Uncontrol Poll! Lets get some feedback on the best way to get a handle on the out of control Pit Bull problem in YOUR neighborhood!

Please consider all the options carefully!  Poll is on the right sidebar.

Option 1:   Tank.  Be the envy the entire block with one of these beauties!  Try to take the wheels off of THIS Fido!


Option 2:   Flame thrower.   Not only can you stop that mauler “dead” in it's tracks, you can simultaneously cook it to crispy perfection! Bon Appetit!



Option 3:   Artillery.  Problem with backyard breeder?   Now, NO PROBLEM.  Take them out with one shot!


Option 4:  Cruise Missile.  Hey, does anyone have the GPS coordinates of Best Friends Animal Shelter???


Option 5:  Atomic Weapon.  The only practical solution in places such as Dayton, Ohio.



25 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. Interesting. I had heard of the 1st one: Apparently, the old Soviet Union had developed that just before it fell apart. The design sat on the shelf for 20 years before they put it into production. It must have some serious recoil control - I have a 12 gauge pump shotgun and that thing kicks HARD! The Russian gun looks like it has some sort of flash suppressor on the end so that may help somewhat.

      The 2nd gun is very interesting. It looks like some sort of AK knockoff, but the action is somewhat different. I'm not sure what its chambered for, but it looks like a 7.62/.308 which would give it a LOT of smack!

      Delete
    2. i'm sure both of those guns would knock me on my ass but i can dream can't i? :-)

      Delete
    3. the aa-12 is awesome! also check out their automatic grenade gun! it's called the AGS-30. either would fix the pits good...

      Delete
  2. I had to vote flame thrower because it seemed the most targeted. We really need a smart weapon that targets unusually large jaw muscles/heads.

    ReplyDelete
  3. i voted for flame thrower because of the crispy perfection. i think i have been a vegetarian too long.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sounds tasty.
      John T

      Delete
    2. i think prolonged suffering might make pibbles very tasty . live spit roasting ?

      Delete
  4. I vote flame thrower too. I have always wanted a flame thrower.

    ReplyDelete
  5. FLAME THROWER
    Why? Its my fav weapon, I love fire, and you get to be up close.
    Second would be the nuke, for unredeemable pit holes.
    Third is the tank- how awesome would it be to run over all the nutters and pebbles at one of their events? VROOM VROOM CRUNCH- for once it would be the mauler, and not a victim.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Why isn't there an option to pick ALL OF THEM?
    LOL

    ReplyDelete
  7. Eating pit bull lunch say's Option 4: Cruise Missile.And for the pit nutters ...flame thrower.
    LOL

    ReplyDelete
  8. I choose cruise missiles, especially after the next pibble refugees arrive en masse from another dog fighting ring bust.

    Also, that one made me laugh the most... LOL thank you for this AU :)

    ReplyDelete
  9. definitely FLAME THROWER . it might bring closure to some of the smirking spectators , victims of shitbull .

    ReplyDelete
  10. even their own deranged owners like to see pibbles burn .....who am i to disagree with pitterine psycho's on how to dispose of unwanted or unsatisfactory shitbull.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Ugh. Just seeing themselves in a mirror ought to be lethal enough. They look like walking carbuncles.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. "They look like walking carbuncles."

      lol!

      Delete
    2. Looked up "carbuncle" as it was an unfamiliar term to me. Shouldn't have used Google image search... *shudder*

      You're right though, the resemblance to pit bulls is uncanny! LOL

      Delete
  12. Flame thrower was my pick, too. Interestingly enough, FULLY FUNCTIONAL flamethrowers... including the military type pictured above... are FORTY STATE LEGAL!

    You can own your own tanks and artillery, too, though certain key components must be removed to make them "street legal". I.E. the main gun's firing mechanism and a few other parts would have to be removed from your tank before you take possession. The main gun barrel could stay in place, and you could still drive it, though.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. "Interestingly enough, FULLY FUNCTIONAL flamethrowers... including the military type pictured above... are FORTY STATE LEGAL!"

      wow. and my state won't let me carry a push dagger!

      fyi, i almost voted for the tank just see pibble try to grab hold of it and the best friends coordinates if ledy's in town.

      Delete
  13. Hey, Animal Uncontrol, have you sen the story about the guy that shot a pit bull in his yard and then posted pics of it like a trophy?
    Its LOL worthy.
    http://aattp.org/man-fires-gun-toward-day-care-to-kill-pit-bull-trophy-poses-with-corpse-graphic-images/#comment-171112
    The comments on this particular article are ridiculous dog worshiping nonsense (except for mine), but it has the most pics of all the ones I have seen.
    Also-
    In the realm os "YOU CANNOT MAKE THIS SHIT UP"
    The owner, who let it roam freely, had a priceless excuse- sweet lil pibble wibble was just headed to the daycare next door to be petted! A real nanny dog! He wasn't harming anyone, and that evil man shot in the direction of the daycare!
    Because sending a pit bull there is sooooo safe, amiright….
    A ROAMING PIT BULL NEXT TO A DAYCARE< WHAT COULD GO WRONG?

    I think the guy IS a lowlife (for other reasons), but I will give him a high 5 for this one. I would also tell him- next time, don't post the pics. SSS, dummy.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I had not heard of this, but thanks for forwarding. The man in question obviously flunked out of astronaut school.

      All must always consider the 3 "S's" of animal control -

      1) Shoot
      2) Shovel
      3) Shut Up.

      This guy missed (2) and (3) - major fail. Also, you must always consider what is BEHIND your target! Idiot!

      Delete
  14. I voted flame thrower because it would be so easy and delicious to SOMEHOW, by some FREAK ACCIDENT, cook the nutter alive that was cowering in the bushes watching to be sure its shit bull didn't get shot etc while mauling something innocent. You know, they watch the mauling progress until someone shows up who might shoot or stab the mutant. Then suddenly the nutter emerges defiant to defend pittie-boo. Perfect moment to FREAK ACCIDENTALLY SOMEHOW cook a nutter alive.

    I like that a lot more than some nutter being gone without knowing it by cruise missile.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Loose the pit into a Hall of mirrors.It's demise would be both prolonged and hilarious.

    ReplyDelete