Thursday, February 27, 2014

An Ode to Pibble

I wake up this morning, thoughts a jumble
Pit nuts, they brought on the law of the Jungle!
Some call me a cad, a nut, a liar, a sinner
To hell with that: Pit Bull, its whats for dinner!

Dog attacks on the rise, look out below
Bad times, yes, but do not wallow!
You should not despair, you sad fellas
For .308 Winchester is on sale at Cabelas!

I chose my rifle and ammo, so proudly
This is politically incorrect, must lie loudly!
Put on hat, vest, step out into the morning air
Tell them all, I am off to hunt "Bear"!

Pit Bull lovers, so incredibly bitchy
Can't compete with my trigger finger, so itchy!
Pit Bull at large, a great many
Feel the blast from my 700 Remmy!

Pick out the ingredients with care,
Its dinner at my place, if you dare!
Dog for dinner, you laugh, you squeal?
Indeed, a Pit Bull makes a fine meal!

I heat water to boiling in the pot
This one dead before he heard the shot!
I turn up the heat, careful not to burn
Soon, it'll be time to eat "Pibble" in return!

Chop up vegetables, spices so fine
Should I soak my kill in refrigerated brine?
I have a great recipe that cannot be beat,
Pit Bull, the new white meat!

The meat is too tough, you rebuff
Has it been in the pot long enough?
It will be like an old boot, you moan
Wrong, that meat will slide right off the bone!

You look so tired, would you like to stay over?
Pit Nuts looking for me, don't blow my cover
I promise to entertain, not to be a bore...
Pit Bulls, they're not just for breakfast anymore!

5 comments:

  1. He he he, a little cuisine humor! I would love to include this on the Pit Bull Poet Laureate as well! It seems everyone is writing poems these days in the "praise" of pit bulls. We need to laugh sometimes.

    Here's another very offensive poem, you know, the thought of eating a pit bull is offensive, but the REALITY of pit bull eating granny, the kid, the mail man, the cat, the poodle next door...well, that's just one of those things that happen. Get over it!

    http://pitbullpoetlaureate.blogspot.com/2012/09/korean-barbecue.html

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  2. Meals, you can go ahead and cross post to your blog if you want.

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  3. LOL. I love you, Animal Uncontrol.

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  4. Awesome! I bet a little Sous Vide would make pibble nice and tender, LOL!!!

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